No hood like the MOTHERhood

Update

From I last came to you from behind the blog, not much has changed other than 2 first teeth and that utter fib of the possibility of a ‘routine’ I spoke about. Current situation- The Snuzpod is squeezed back into our bedroom, EWAN the Sheep is on his 4th set of batteries and my new motherhood motto is ‘if all persons under this roof are sleeping, then we are winning at this parenting malarkey!’ 

There is no light bulb moment when you decide you are ready to become a Mother (well for me anyway and the majority of mothers I have asked).  But merely a longing that creeps up, which you couldn't suppress if you tried, unable to think of anything else at all times!

35 weeks pregnant: I remember
thinking that one of the loveliest
feelings in pregnancy was that of
of never being alone 

Womanhood is a hood of many highs and lows.  Girls can be the best cheerleaders and at the same time, your biggest critiques!  Motherhood is no different!  In fact, in my experience and many others’, it’s magnified.  From praising to guilt tripping, it is one of mixed emotions, often made harder than it needs to be by our fellow peers.  

Feminism in it’s own right

31 weeks pregnant: The
experience of delivering a baby into
the world whilst feeling mine kick was
one I will never forget!

I come from a majorly female dominated world, that of a girl raised by a Single Mother with sisters, who went to an all girls school, then chose a very female dominated career, looking after women.  and most recently and significantly, a Mother of a Daughter.  And I wouldn't choose any other path!  Luckily for these circumstances, I consider myself a ‘girls girl.’  I love spending time with girls and instantly navigate towards them for a chat in a group.  I would never have overly described myself as a Feminist, for (wrongly) imagining them as a bra burning, picket lining, protesters, as I am actually quite traditional deep down (and have days where I dream of being a ‘stay at home Mummy'/'Housewife’).  However, since becoming both a Midwife and a Mother, my respect and admiration of the female sex has multiplied uncontrollably.  When you witness daily and then experience personally what us women’s minds and bodies are capable of, you are left with no other choice!  (#mindblown)

Not to take away from those who have not yet/ don't want to embark on this journey as it is not a decision that should be taken lightly.  Some days, it is your fresh faced friend who hasn't been yet blessed with a baby that you want to see at your door.  Their keen, playful manner is greatly welcomed (by mother and baby!).  Even more so, when that same friend suggests you having a shower without your mini spectator watching and even brings lunch (yes seriously- I am so grateful to have this one!)

Categorising Motherhood 

Day 1 of Motherhood: That overwhelming urge 
to do anything it takes to protect your little 
bundle (and the grateful realisation that 
this one is mine to keep!)

Take for example, the many support groups out there (face to face and cyber). These can be both a welcoming supportive community or a judgemental pedistal, and should therefore be chosen wisely!  Whilst some you may feel do a great job of Cheerleader and Market Researcher (who else are you going to ask for a recommendation of reusable breast pads or outstanding, non-exhausted teething remedies?), others may seem a tad more ‘my way or no way’ approach.  Which to a new mother mid those rocky baby blues, may just be enough to tip her over the edge.

There are groups out there for every category you could possibly imagine.  Pro breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, baby led weaning, teenage parenting, co-sleeping, controlled crying, rear face car seating, baby wearing, milestone comparing, wooden toy only players, Gina Ford worshiping, tree hugging, Calpol vs Amber parenting styles.  

But they all fall under that one umberella term of ‘parenting’ and ‘support’ and so whichever one might fit you most comfortably, be confident and embrace it.  For what is right for you and your family may not be for another and this is what makes the world a more interesting place.  So OWN IT and most importantly, ENJOY IT! Because although the days may be long, the years are short and before you know it, we will be saying ‘those were the days, weren't they?’ (pure cheese I know, but true!).  Personally, I dip in and out, choosing what is relevant for me and my family at that current time (constantly changing on this journey), which is what I would encourage other Mamas to do also.  

Bridging the gap

These 2 pictures were taken a year apart.  
When I feel frustrated about my postnatal body, 
I remind myself that in the last year, 
it has made, grown, birthed and is still feeding
another human being! 

Naturally as Mothers, we all come from different backgrounds and beliefs, societal, cultural and experiential.  However, when we all come together under one roof at those baby classes or ‘Mums and Tots’ groups, from the school student to the Lord Mayor of Belfast, we are instantly humbled by a cup of warm tea and a chat about the perils of this emotional and physical (but wonderful) rollercoaster.  

When you recognise the effort that it has taken that mother with the newborn to get out today, as she struggles to carry her baby bag packed for ANY emergency or 3 potential ‘poonamis.’  

When you see another Mama breastfeeding in Starbucks, immediately providing you with the confidence to whip your boobs out at your baby’s earliest queue over your (luke) warm coffee and able to finish your bun, rather than frantically scaling the walls for a disabled toilet while you pack up your many (unnecessary) belongings.  

As other Mamas look on in admiration at your first attempt to get the baby into the sling solo, or squeeze a Bugaboo, a Bumbo, a weeks shop, your baby and your Granny into a Mini, you feel like a Boss!

So I ask one thing from us Mothers (and society in fact)…BE KIND.  You don't know who has been up since 4am with a teething baby and no help, who's still got a sore bum as they do the ‘postnatal shuffle’ around the local shopping centre in desperate need to get out of the house.  The one who has just received the bad news or who is watching you, so desperately wishing it was them!  

Those loving, empathetic looks from one Mama to another in the GP waiting room at the  immunisation clinic, that exchange of a baby wipe following an unexpected colic attack and that ability to talk to a total stranger with a pram like you’ve known them for years are the qualities we should be celebrating! 

So next time you want to judge the Mama who is scrolling through her phone in the park (as this is the only respite she has had in the day), try not to.  She made the effort to get herself and them out in attempt to seek some fresh air and entertain them.  The one who took up (nearly) 2 car parking spaces in order to be able to get her car seat out of her 3 door car with her sore back, just ignore it.  If the car next to her parks too close, she can't get home.  Or the one who is feeding her baby straight from the jar as she didn't have the spare time to brush her hair let alone spend a day with the NutriBullet doing food prep, think twice!  Sure, we might only be known as ‘Pippa’s’ Mummy (particularly when recognised in Mamas in Papas- WIN!) but at the minute, there is no title I am more proud of and I think my fellow Mamas would agree! (Most of the time).  

Uniting in Motherhood!  Until next time,

One intermittently confused, trying her best Mama (Pippa’s Mama) 

X

3 months old Vs 7 months old above

My favourite milestone yet: It's these little moments
that make those sleepless nights worthwhile